dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
