Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
