I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
