So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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