we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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