He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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