I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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