I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We need to get me chipped asap
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
