I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
