C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
