paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
