He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I think I just sharted jello shots
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
