Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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