and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
