ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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