White coat. Heels.
I hate your face
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
