the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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