hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
