you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can you bring me the toilet please
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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