yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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