At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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