Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
