get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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