your parents love me but you hate me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize