How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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