i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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