does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
