you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
