There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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