Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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