How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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