her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My vagina is very pro this idea
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