booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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