Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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