Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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