evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
