A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
