I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
