I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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