You made me cry and you don't even care
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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