seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
