your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
