If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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