Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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