it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
