so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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