went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
