My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
