btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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