i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
