im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
