Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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