I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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