You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The feeling are messing with the penis
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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