I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
